Touchy Quality Maxell Alkaline Ace: Where quality touches infinity. Hey,we could use that one for Moruya Bicycles!
The Bright Life If you buy a PowerPed Sherpa Mk IV, you'll be so lucky as to receive with it, free, a Classic lock complete with the following information: "Building the bright life, from cultivation of the bit". Followed by "Please enjoy BAISHU'S care careful to you in the sport."
Vigorous Brake Pads New el cheapo brake pads from Apse ("Powerful bicycle components by APSE") with packaging that says no less than the following: "Best improvement than ever before! So Energetic, Best performance than you can imagine! So Vigorous!" Sounds like the result of a study of English language Spam.
Total Control Grips Our **NEW** Hung Ya Grips, little cheap ($3) mushroom grips for 12" & 16" bikes give us great confidence with the following: " FEELING OF TOTAL CONTROL IN ALL CONDITIONS. ABSORBS SHOCK AND HELPS ALLEVIATE NUMBNESS. ALLOWS EXCESS SWEAT TO ESCAPE" And we thought the ODI, Oury, Giant and Ergon grips were good....
Better Living Tubes Geax inner tubes promise "BETTER LIVING THROUGH RUBBER
Watch That Finger An oldie but one of my favourites: Puncture kit instructions that included as point 4 or 5: "Be careful that the finger."
Kings, Nobles, Knights Yes, it was some time back now, but we did in one day sell bikes to the King family, the Noble family and the Knight family. We're still waiting for the Jokers.
A Reigny Day Sorry folks, but that pun had to be made when we'd sold a Reign, assembled another Reign and serviced a third in one day. After all, that's a big deal for a little shop!
Foot, Foot, Foot Typing can bring up a whole new world of spelling mistakes. Repco's "Little Miss Hotfoot" became "Little Miss Hotroot" a while back.